Saturday, April 14, 2012

Tony Stewart Suffers Engine Failure Due to Cookie Debris

A promising day turned south quickly for Smoke, as a rogue Oreo found its way into the fuel injection system of his car.

"I shut down the engine, and as I hit the switch, one of my mid-race snacks must have fallen under the hood", a crestfallen Stewart told reporters after the race.

"We took a look at the EFI system after the race, and found the tell-tale evidence of crumbs and creme", said SHR Engineer Lon Byron. "We thought we had this solved after the Taquitos incident two years ago at 'Dega, but I guess we still have work to do."

Stewart pointed out that the majority of his Oreos were consumed early in the race, "…but I always try to save a few for the last third of the race. I have some Ritz Crackers in there too, but we have yet to find out how to bring cheese in the car."

Stewart-Haas Teammate Ryan Newman was spun out after he was spotted eating a Quizno's Chicken Carbonara by Carl Edwards. Team officials say they plan to "look over every aspect of our driver feeding process" going into next week at Las Vegas.

"Our drivers have to stay full, that's a given", Byron added. "The important thing is making sure that some foreign object doesn't overshadow our performance. I mean, come on, we're not Brad Keselowski here."

On a brighter note, SHR driver Danica Patrick had her best race of the year by not running.


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