Its autumn, which means its time for Hollywood to roll out its award-show fodder films. Its also time for me to roll out one of my most-tired gags--Nascar's in the Movies!!!
Real Steel--A 4-hour-long documentary featuring my Dad talking about the diecast collectable industry. Not included--34 hours of additional footage of my Dad talking about the diecast collectable industry.
Dirty Girl--GoDaddy executives try to reconcile promoting their driver as a sex-symbol AND a role model for young girls. Never before has Mark Martin been so divisive.
The Thing--A proctologist's obsession with finding the golden horseshoe up Jimmie Johnson's ass.
Footloose--In the spirit of Grindhouse, this film will be a forced double-feature with Foottight.
The Big Year--Can Robby Gordon switch to Dodge, start an energy drink company, and still run a successful race team? No.
The Three Musketeers--Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, and newcomer Kasey Kahne set out to take over the Nascar world!
Trespass--Dale Earnhardt Jr. tries to get on the set of The Three Musketeers.
In Time--Old-school Nascar fans try to convince people who started watching in 2006 that, eventually, SOMEONE else will win a championship.
The Rum Diary--The Al Unser Jr. Story!
Sleeping Beauty--In the spirit of Any Warhol, this art-film is simply an 8-hour shot of Derrike Cope in bed.
Tower Heist--A group of Nascar & music enthusiasts sneak into an abandoned Tower Records warehouse searching for Kyle Petty's recording of "Oh King Richard".
Immortals--Scientists try to figure out how and why Harry Gant doesn't age.
The Descendants--Unable to get a ride, a down-on-his-luck racer reinvents himself as "The Lost Dillon Brother."
A Dangerous Method--Denny Hamlin decides that the only way to a championship is to pick-off every other Chase contender, "Homer at the Bat" style. Special cameo by Paul Menard's sideburns as Jimmie Johnson's sideburns.
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