Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Stewart's Win Under Review After Engine Found to Help Car Over Finish Line

Controversy surrounds the recent win by Tony "Smoke" Stewart, whose finish is under review after an "engine" was found under his hood. Nascar officials state that they are "65-70% sure" that the engine helped the #14 car finish the race.

"Nascar remains ever vigilant in making sure that its drivers and teams follow the rules to the letter", Nascar Associate Director of Competition Blake Stevens said shortly after the race. "It clearly states that a car must cross the finish line under its own power--not being propelled forward by a so-called 'engine'".

Stewart is one of a number of drivers penalized following the controversial finish, joining Matt Kenseth, who was pushed on the last lap (otherwise known as "Amish Drafting") and Kevin Harvick, who was found to have illegal levels of drive, determination, and fortitude in his recent urine sample.

"We've remitted these issues to the proper departments back in Daytona Beach", Stevens continued. "There's many people involved, but its the same good folks who decided against making this race a Saturday Night race, came up with the aero-wing, and are working to bring that delightful Danica Patrick to the Nationwide Series next year."

When asked if the #88 car was found to have such violations, Stevens stammered something about bonus points, then ran away.

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