We here at The Pits realize that finding the right gift for the Nascar fan in your life can be quite difficult. I mean, he already has a Ricky Craven hat and a Buckshot Jones t-shirt, so what else is there to get them? That's where WE come in! Just look below to see what your Nascar-loving loved one likes, and get them the gift that will make their day/8-nights!
Dale Earnhardt Jr. Fan--Cricket Wireless Dale Jr. Cell Phone. Sure, you could get him any of the plastic tchotchkes for sale at Wal-Mart, but this gift will add a personal touch. Be sure to get the custom Dale Jr. ringtone ("I dunno…tryin' to win…good race, but…need to run better") and pre-loaded pictures from fellow Wrangler pitchman Brett Favre!
Bobby Labonte Fan--Time Machine. Wish to go back to when Bobby was one of Nascar's true elite? When Bobby was winning races consistently? Heck, just back to when Bobby had black hair? Use this handy-dandy time machine and you'll be wearin' green and screaming for the Labonte brothers in no time! Also, feel free to use it to steer Joey Logano into a career working the counter at Pep Boys.
Matt Kenseth Fan--The Big Book of Wisconsin Success Stories. Sure, Matt doesn't have a sponsor for next year. And sure, he seems to have pissed off Redbeard the Pirate. But that doesn't diminish this legend's greatest accomplishment--making it OUT of Wisconsin! You'll also get a chance to read about other successful Wisconsinites, like George Wallace-assassin Arthur Bremer, fear-mongerer Joseph McCarthy, and cartoonist Douglass Ladd!
Brian Vickers Fan--Flo the Progressive Girl. Try as we might, sometimes we get into minor fender-benders. Sometimes there's all over a 2-week period. Sometimes they all involve the same exact person. Help to combat these amazing coincidences with some first-rate insurance. Flo will help you bundle insurance for your 1998 Honda Civic with the 10-speaker sound system with insurance for your "Cougar Hunter" powerboat! WARNING--This is NOT a cardboard cutout of Flo--this is an actual living person. Please open immediately or suffocation may occur.
Martin Truex Jr. Fan--Greatest One-Hit Wonders Collection. You'll get to hear hits from such legendary flashes in the pan as Starland Vocal Band, ? and the Mysterions, David Gilliland, and Men Without Hats! Proof that sometimes when you succeed, its best to just stop there! (This might also come in handy 10 years down the road for Trevor Bayne fans).
Jimmie Johnson Fan--Jimmie's Plain Oatmeal. Tired of flavor? Tired of fun? Tired of anything somewhat exciting ruining your morning? Then try Jimmie Johnson's favorite breakfast treat, Jimmie's Plain Oatmeal! Nothing inside to surprise, offend, or excite you, guaranteed! Available in Gray or Slightly Darker Gray.
Kyle Busch Fan--K&B's. Duuuude! Are you totally bummed about those losers at M&M's trying to tell Busch-man what to do? Well, here's some newz to totally geek you up! Row-dee's taking Robby Gordon's advice and starting his OWN sponsoring company--K&B's! K&B's are the gnarly kick-ass candy that don't take nothin' from nobody! You can eat 'em, collect 'em, or throw 'em at elderly truck drivers! K&B's--its chocolate…2 THE X-TREEEEEEEEEME!
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